Kathy from Glass Rock shut down the Glass Rock Essay Contest only to have more time to work on her essay, which has now won the Award, destroying Matt and Aaron‘s entries but let’s face it not besting Dave’s rodeo interview. Says Kathy, “I’m so busy with other projects that I even forgot I entered this contest.” Enjoy her award winning essay below.
“A day in the Life of” by Glass Rocker Kathy
When we were on our UK tour, I was often mistaken for Lady Gaga because of my extremely sexy outfits, blonde hair & devil-may-care attitude on stage. This is understandable, and I tried to take advantage of it by asking for discounts on our gas station sandwiches. Recently, however, in my hometown of Detroit, I suffered another case of mistaken identity. When a man approaches you in a vehicle and says “Would you like to make some money?”, there is a 99% percent chance that you don’t want to do whatever it is that’s going to make you the money. With these odds in mind, I said no.
I kept on walkin to my bank cuz it’s Friday and I got my paycheck and guess what I’m going to the sauna later. This motherfucker however, thought that I said “I’m a prostitute and just need a little encouragement” when I said “No.” So, he pulled up next to me a second time and showed me his nasty January cock pumping through his left hand. “Please touch it just a little bit!”, he said. So I said, “You dirty motherfucker, get the fuck away from me before I call the cops, you son of a bitch motherfucker.” And I said it like I meant it. He put it in reverse and got out of there, leaving me to rant and rave in the streets like so many other of my Detroit brethren.
With no time to ruminate the why’s and how’s (Was it my pants?), I headed off to my next errand, picking up my cat Gerome from the vet. I take Gerome to the vet in a cardboard box from Staples because he won’t go (or seemingly fit) in a regular cat carrier. With Gerome in hand(s), I walked home, along the way meeting a delightful child who wanted to know if Staples was giving out free cats. I said I don’t know about that but this one’s mine.
Finally(!), I was able to get back to work. With Gerome back in his window seat and a cool crisp twenty warming up my back pocket, I opened up my web browser and continued scouring Craigslist for juicy personals (missed connections in particular) cuz I’m supposed to be writing demos for Glass Rock II and I’m running out of emotional material………Glass Rocker Kathy
[p.s. hello to MTJR] [painting by Kathy]