Archive for the 'community' Category
Really interesting article about Robert Johnson stolen from Vampire Blues reposted from Guardian saw Ferris pass out at 32 flavors. “This article reminds me of when I listened to Just Ice’s Put That Record Back On at 33 rather than 45 this weekend and had no idea for about 1:30,” says Glass Rock bass maven Matt, fresh outta rehab. People have also been saying Robert Johnson’s name at the wrong speed as well. Rather than Robertjohnson it should be said Robert -pause- Johnson. Good luck.
Glass Rock Podium
Under the guidance of Bretharian Dr. David Jubb and with the encouragement of gala-event rocker pal Steve Tyler, Glass Rock’s Aaron Mullan has embarked on a series of dates to warn high school children about the perils of drug and alcohol abuse. At North Farmington High School in Farmington Hills, MI on Tuesday, the principal calmed a horny generation with no standards of decency as well as poor research methods by shouting into the microphone, “Mr. Mullan will not sign records until he has warned us about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. So be quiet. And no, Michael Rother is not here today.” The gymnasium floorboards creaked in eerie silence as Aaron dropped major science, discussing concepts such as decreased reaction time to external stimuli when using mind altering drugs, which he had to allow students a few extra minutes to comprehend. Then with a nod from Dr. Jubb, Aaron opened up the floor to Q & A. Here are some highlights -
Student1: I am a huge fan of Glass Rock. But my parents think I’m using drugs.
Aaron: Yeah I think you’re on the paranoia trip there, bro. That’s the downside of the doob. That’s why I stick to the hooch. With the cheeb you act like a weirdo but are convinced everyone thinks you’re an asshole. With the corn you act like an asshole but don’t realize it until the next day. Guilt is more my kind of vibe than paranoia. Personally, I don’t try to keep my mind sharp. I just try to not use it for mundane crap, like which drawer my socks are in or who I’m supposed to call or how to play guitar. Instead I’m into reading Herodotus cracking up at stuff like how the Egyptians are exactly the reverse of everyone else on the planet: Men carry burdens on their heads, women on their shoulders. Women pass water standing, men sitting. They ease their bowels indoors, and eat out of doors in the streets, explaining that things unseemly but necessary should be done alone in private, things not unseemly should be done openly.
Paranoia is not Aaron's Bag
Student2: I ate in the parking lot at lunch.
Aaron: There’s only one cause for depression, and only one cure, and they are the same. The “destroyer of delights, the separator of societies, he who makes orphans of sons and daughters.” Put that in your bong and rip it.
Following this question, handler Dr. Jubb shut down the assembly and magically signed over 3900 Glass Rock LPs on Aaron’s behalf with a flick of the wrist and made the prinicpal levitate. The assistant principal lovingly caught him before he fell to the gymnasium’s make shift stage. Interested in having a Glass Rock Role Model speak at your town’s high school? Please contact us at glassrocklife@gmail.com and check back for the rest of Aaron’s tour dates. Thank you!
