Archive for the 'new music' Category

Tubes Receives Nickname, Moron Moses

Published on April 13, 2010 in angry lovers, new music, number of the beast and rollins. 1 Comment
Shameless, Nameless, Another Man’s Sac

Nicknames denote affection, personality, and the engendered “making fun of” that only someone thoroughly loved and respected can birth in others. Glass Rock and Tall Firs guitar player Tubes Mullan has struggled gnashing teeth for years in the nickname-less wilderness with no shortage of bewilderment and hurt feelings not to mention very sore teeth -heh heh- Well, during Glass Rock’s recent pow wow at Echo Canyon Studios, the band took a chance and began calling Tubes “Aaron.” Suddenly “Hey Aaron,” or “Help me Aaron, or “Salvage this Aaron,” or “Can we hear that again without guitars Aaron,” became as oft heard as expletive-expletive-dog-drugs  in the control room. Said guitarist Dave Mies, “This thing just stuck. It felt so natural to call him Aaron.” The origin of the name is unclear, though Aaron of the Bible seems to have been the go-between for Moses between well, Moses and the Royal Court of Wherever-The-Hell-They-Lived. How this applies to Tubes we might never know, but from here on out, it’s Aaron for life. Congratulations Tubes! We mean “Aaron!”

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More on Moses, Has Glass Rock Gone Too Far? [NEW EDIT, THANK YOU]

Glass Rock Fans Go Too Far?! Matt Issues Statement

Published on March 18, 2010 in new music, unruly mob and wasted. 1 Comment

As GnR fans kill time while waiting for Glass Rock II: Heating Up the Commercial Climate, there are suggestions that some afficionados are going too far. 

To [fan name withheld], the follow statement has been issued by Matt Kantor, Bass - “I am deeply honored by you putting my visage on your skin for the rest of your life. But what if I fuck up, let you down, no longer have the look of an uncharacteristically serious, lean and mean labrador retriever? Ironically it’s that very pressure to not fuck up that will lead me to letting you down. I am weak. Here’s to sloth and jazz fusion.” -Matt

Despite what seems like a clear official statement, rumors circulate that Matt tattooed himself on himself to inspire himself to be the best self he could possibly be. When probed with questions about the rumor, he retorted, “Oh rest assured that tattoo would be in the palm of my hand so I could love myself even more than I already do. What I am saying is that I could give myself a virtual lip-____ing of myself whenever I wanted while simultaneously receiving a virtual lip-____ing of myself whenever I wanted. I have to go now.”

When will new Glass Rock music arrive? Madness must end. But until Kathy Leisen is replaced, it’s not going to happen. Keep sending resumes and coat tail sizes to glassrocklife@gmail.com.

Breaking News: Medici Family Purchases 461 Ocean Boulevard

Published on March 10, 2010 in new music and palm trees. 0 Comments

A bidding war recently broke out over the Dave Mies signed copy of Eric Clapton: 461 Ocean Boulevard, with the winning bid topping off at $3.5 million dollars, which should keep Glass Rock in the black for at least a couple weeks. Sales are now closed on the previous Into the Black List including Concert for Bangledash with the box falling apart. Said winning bidder Cosimo d’Medici, “Intercourse is now preserved for future generations.” Losing bidder Eric Clapton commented, “Medici was wonderful tonight.” See you in the studio, suckas!

More Palm Trees, Last Chance to Dance

Published on March 10, 2010 in misc, new music and palm trees. 0 Comments

[I] don’t know what this list means but Glass Rock are on it. Also, in an effort to keep the recording of Glass Rock II: Tall Firs Meet Soft Location II from stalling, the prize gem of Matt’s LP collection has been put on the block.

Eric Clapton: 461 Ocean Boulevard     $1,750,000

Dave Mies signed Eric Clapton: 461 Ocean Boulevard $2,000,000

Rumors continue to circulate surrounding the wherabouts of Ecstatic Peace!’s generous record advance for Glass Rock II, some involving Kathy Leisen’s Upper Peninsula Death Cult, others related to Matt’s summer sojourns to the questionable beaches of Long Island. Though rooted in truth, the absurdity levels round here are reaching White Light/White Heat territory (Aaron, help!); please return for more eruidite posts soon as well as news on the strangely emotional music of Glass Rock, the band that ***** em. Also, some Soft Location live tapes have popped up recently–working on getting those out at least to Tall Firs members soon.

Advance Still Missing! Arrogance Not!

Published on March 9, 2010 in new music and wasted. 0 Comments

Krautrock session player Aaron Mullan has responded to allegations that he stole $2 million dollars cash from a sleeping Dave Miez (ne Mies)  in the back of a cab. The money was EP!’s unprecedented $2 million advance  for the recording of Glass Rock II: The Lifting of the Shirt. Planning to come in way under budget and then go diamond, Glass Rock is now completely fucked. Miez has stepped down as shop steward, Kathy Leisen is repeatedly gargling with acrylic paint and water, and Rynnn is holed up in a room, sending a character actor out to make his appearances. Matt still waits unshaven for Tall Firs to ask him to sit in on “Hairdo” but in the meantime, has taken action to keep the project together. First though, what did Mullan have to say?

Aaron: Tartar sauce is for shrimp-eaters. A small amount of lemon and some horseradish for oysters. What kind of pervert puts catsup on an oyster?

P.S. Anyone who likes esoteric oysters and Islay single malt Scotch should come by Grand Central this month. I’m buying.

Wow! Despite what the ‘rest of us’ sense as an arrogant confession above, Mullan has stated nothing incriminating. Tacit! Brilliant! But before all that legal mumbo jumbo comes to pass, Glass Rock bassist Matt won’t let the ship go down just yet. In order to keep Glass Rock II in the black, he is selling some of his most prized LPs and asked us to please publish the list.

Sananta Amigos $700,000

Blondie Parallel Lines $725,000

Concert for Bangledash (4 LP) set  $1,000,000

Dave Mason It’s Like You Never Left $425,000

The Eleventh Hour with Larry Coryell Introducing $425,000

The Police Ghost in the Machine $415,000

Any interested buyers are asked to please contact Matt through Glass Rock Life. “We cannot let the actions of one destroy the fucking of all.” (citation needed). Man, let’s relax with some classic Melville v Osbourne below.

An Honest Sound?

Published on March 8, 2010 in legislation and new music. 1 Comment

Problems plague Glass Rock II: Who Will Get Custody of My Awful Baby? as a large advance from Ecsatic Peace! has disappeared. After a kick-ass first quarter, EP! handed over an unprecedented $2 million dollars cash to Glass Rock shop steward Dave  Miez (guitar just to the right of guitar stage left), who then left it in his coat in the back of a cab along with the master tapes for Axis Bold as Love and a matchbook simply labeled “Honeys.” An allegation has surfaced that Aaron Mullan (guitar stage left) helmed the cab undercover in a deliberate attempt to con the shop steward into leaving the cash behind. As a result of Glass Rock equal time laws, Aaron is invited to please respond to these allegations as soon as he has finished wiping 2 million dollars worth of cocktail sauce off his face.

WASTED

Published on January 28, 2010 in new music. 0 Comments

Wasted from Aaron’s basement.