More Palm Trees, Last Chance to Dance

Published on March 10, 2010 in misc, new music and palm trees. 0 Comments

[I] don’t know what this list means but Glass Rock are on it. Also, in an effort to keep the recording of Glass Rock II: Tall Firs Meet Soft Location II from stalling, the prize gem of Matt’s LP collection has been put on the block.

Eric Clapton: 461 Ocean Boulevard     $1,750,000

Dave Mies signed Eric Clapton: 461 Ocean Boulevard $2,000,000

Rumors continue to circulate related to the wherabouts of Ecstatic Peace’s! generous record advance, some involving Kathy Leisen’s Upper Peninsula Death Cult, others related to Matt’s summer sojourns to the questionable beaches of Long Island. Though rooted in truth, the absurdity levels round here are reaching White Light/White Heat territory (Aaron, help!); please return for more eruidite posts soon as well as news on the strangely emotional music of Glass Rock, the band that ***** em. Also, some Soft Location live tapes have popped up recently–working on getting those out at least to members of Tall Firs soon.

Advance Still Missing! Arrogance Not!

Published on March 9, 2010 in new music and wasted. 0 Comments

Krautrock session player Aaron Mullan has responded to allegations that he stole $2 million dollars cash from a sleeping Dave Miez (ne Mies)  in the back of a cab. The money was EP!’s unprecedented $2 million advance  for the recording of Glass Rock II: The Lifting of the Shirt. Planning to come in way under budget and then go diamond, Glass Rock is now completely fucked. Miez has stepped down as shop steward, Kathy Leisen is repeatedly gargling with acrylic paint and water, and Rynnn is holed up in a room, sending a character actor out to make his appearances. Matt still waits unshaven for Tall Firs to ask him to sit in on “Hairdo” but in the meantime, has taken action to keep the project together. First though, what did Mullan have to say?

Aaron: Tartar sauce is for shrimp-eaters. A small amount of lemon and some horseradish for oysters. What kind of pervert puts catsup on an oyster?

P.S. Anyone who likes esoteric oysters and Islay single malt Scotch should come by Grand Central this month. I’m buying.

Wow! Despite what the ‘rest of us’ sense as an arrogant confession above, Mullan has stated nothing incriminating. Tacit! Brilliant! But before all that legal mumbo jumbo comes to pass, Glass Rock bassist Matt won’t let the ship go down just yet. In order to keep Glass Rock II in the black, he is selling some of his most prized LPs and asked us to please publish the list.

Sananta Amigos $700,000

Blondie Parallel Lines $725,000

Concert for Bangledash (4 LP) set  $1,000,000

Dave Mason It’s Like You Never Left $425,000

The Eleventh Hour with Larry Coryell Introducing $425,000

The Police Ghost in the Machine $415,000

Any interested buyers are asked to please contact Matt through Glass Rock Life. “We cannot let the actions of one destroy the fucking of all.” (citation needed). Man, let’s relax with some classic Melville v Osbourne below.

Melville v Osbourne

Published on March 9, 2010 in literature. 0 Comments

“Why is almost every robust healthy boy with a robust healthy soul in him, at some time or other crazy to go to sea? Why upon your first voyage as a passenger, did you yourself feel such a mystical vibration, when first told that you and your ship were now out of sight of land? . . .  we see ourselves in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is they key to it all.” -Herman Melville, Moby Dick, 1851

“But let me tell you something: it’s not fucking easy, catching a chicken, especially when it’s getting dark and you haven’t slept for twenty-four hours and you’re fucked up on a shitload of booze and coke and you’re wearing a dressing gown and welly-boots.” -Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy, 2010

 The winner?

An Honest Sound?

Published on March 8, 2010 in legislation and new music. 1 Comment

Problems plague Glass Rock II: Who Will Get Custody of My Awful Baby? as a large advance from Ecsatic Peace! has disappeared. After a kick-ass first quarter, EP! handed over an unprecedented $2 million dollars cash to Glass Rock shop steward Dave  Miez (guitar just to the right of guitar stage left), who then left it in his coat in the back of a cab along with the master tapes for Axis Bold as Love and a matchbook simply labeled “Honeys.” An allegation has surfaced that Aaron Mullan (guitar stage left) helmed the cab undercover in a deliberate attempt to con the shop steward into leaving the cash behind. As a result of Glass Rock equal time laws, Aaron is invited to please respond to these allegations as soon as he has finished wiping 2 million dollars worth of cocktail sauce off his face.

Hello My Love, Oscar Round-Up

Published on March 8, 2010 in numerous awards and soft location. 0 Comments

Soft Location have shown up in a very nice ad for Hello Records in Detroit

Thanks and best of luck with the shop.

***

Oscar round-up: Had a dream last night that Crazy Heart lost out for Best Picture to a film called Hottest White Boy on the Block. What the F? That’s about it other than to say that Antichrist felt very disturbing. Check it out if you like having objects screwed through your leg without anasthesia. Peace weirdos!    

?

Major Infighting

Published on March 6, 2010 in misc and wasted. 1 Comment

Hanging on the telephone, waiting to get The [Bass] Call from Tall Firs, skipped town

what was wrong with this band?

don’t you understand being a Family Man?

some people from Annapolis have Major families

nice shout out from USA Today today (a serious thank you); and it’s true that Easter Egg down there is nice!

[Major misinterpretation?]

Soft Location love Tall Firs. And it’s special having a new survival machine to carry on the legacy. Thanks sister/brother.

Rock on Lone Wolf and Axemans

niece? = Nice

Published on March 6, 2010 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Somewhere along these lines there was an administrator who so loved the world that he begot(sic) his  sister/brother (’s) only pink child.

He will be back.

until then,

come see Tall Firs at glasslands

tonite.

12 midnite

Go get em


Tall Firs Leave Soft Location Hopeless

Published on March 3, 2010 in live and prejack. 0 Comments

Glass Rock returns to Echo Canyon next week to get **** deep into some Wild Horses. Before then however, the three Wild Horses of Tall Firs are slaying it at Glasslands on March 6th at midnight. These so-called friends of Soft Location have set an impossibly high standard with their new tunes. That is why all creative energy must now be concentrated on humming [basslines] that move the Glass Rock music to perfection. Damn!

To quote these ribald suckers: Hello All

Well, after our whirlwind romance that led to the Glass Rock project, we’re having a solo (trio) moment and getting the band back together. We’ve got half of a new album in the can, and we’re going to play our first live show in NYC since, geez, when? When’s the last time YOU remember being at at Tall Firs show?

The recently-upgraded tallfirs.org is currently streaming mp3’s of a couple of the new cuts, so when we hit those big arena-rock choruses next Saturday we wanna hear everybody arm-in-arm chanting along.

All the other bands are nice boys with guitars too, so it’s not going to be one of those shows where somebody has contact mics on a cat and sheets of feedback are flying off the stage and Ryan and Aaron are transfixed and you and Dave don’t give a shit and you’re stuck in the back of the room and can’t even talk to your friends because the sheer volume is removing all the air from the room.  Not gonna be like that at all. It’s gonna be really fun and your fingers are going to turn into bloody stumps from compulsively twitterfacing your acquaintances about what a lovely time you’re having.

WARNING!: we go on at midnight, that’s right.. midnight! This is no sweat for most of our fun crazed, sex obsessed, eternally youthful crew. However, we know there’s a few turncoats among us who wanna hang up their spurs and turn in early on a Saturday night. That’s right, on a Saturday night!! WTF!! Anyway, don’t worry about these folks. If a virtual orgy of laughing, drinking, looking good and feeling better is too much for their old bones, then they should stay home and the rest of us will just split their share of happiness.

Love,
Tall Firs

Glass Rock Collectible Stamp #4

Published on March 3, 2010 in collectibles and magic. 0 Comments

Mies

Our Glass Rock 77 Collectible Stamp Series has reached its end and so far only one person has jumped out a window after preparing to mail a letter. Above, we have the handsome Mies Stamp for you to add to your collection. [This stamp is huge!] Need an explanation? Then you are probably weak. But check out GRCS1 for info on how this whole disturbance got started.

Glass Rock Radio

Published on March 2, 2010 in album and radio. 0 Comments

Charting at college/community radio this week: WDCE Richmond VA #5, CKXU Lethbridge AB #18, WHPK Chicago IL #19, WLJS Jacksonville AL #22, WNCW Spindale NC #25, Rainy Dawg Radio Portland OR #28

Thanks.